


With Friends Like These...

by storias



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Slow Burn, also paultryk if you squint, colleagues to friends to lovers, i dunno man, i guess??, kind of, mostly just passive superpowers tho, takes place after the end, what do detectives even do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 05:17:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10678470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storias/pseuds/storias
Summary: You've always been a bit of an outsider. The ability to tell when someone's lying isn't one that comes without its consequences. After all, who wants to be friends with someone you can't keep a secret from?But, as luck would have it, there's a certain agency that happens to give refuge to freaks of nature like you.► Eddsworld/Reader





	1. Chapter 1

You never considered seeing a therapist for your abilities, and you never really planned to if the idea crossed your mind—it's as they say: with great power, comes great responsibility. There was no way you were going to tell someone you didn't trust, much less a _stranger_.

So, as you stared blankly at the woman in front of you, you couldn't help the long deep sigh that escaped your lips. You knew you were supposed to open up to her. You knew you were supposed to tell her about all of your troubles and stuff, but... it was all just _so_ _hard_.

How can _anyone_ pay attention to what this lady was saying when they were so distracted by the thing that was lodged in the middle of her freaking teeth?! Someone had to do _something_ , but considering you were the only other person in the room, it was up to you.

"Hey, not to interrupt, but—"

"Shh, no, no it's alright, dear," you frowned at her, "I know this is hard for you, but you have to know that I'm here to help you."

You laughed nervously and tried again, "Haha, no, it's not that, you've just—"

"Please, (Name), you have to learn to trust me. I promise you, anything you say to me right now, in this room, will _never_ reach public ears. This is completely confidential."

You swore, if she interrupted you one more time, you were going to pull your hair out. But because you liked your hair too much to go bald, you just decided against saying anything else.

As you expected, your therapist (what was her name?) went on and on about how you should go out more. Pointless advice you didn't even need just kept pouring out of her mouth. It was like a fountain of useless knowledge given by someone who had the intelligence of goldfish.

The worst part about it? Everything she said was a blatant lie.

A normal person wouldn't be able to tell (or maybe they would), but you were one hundred percent sure that she was just a big fat fibber. That's what your powers were: the ability to tell when a person's not being frank. Not only that but sometimes, little shadows of words would float above their heads, revealing the truths for you right then and there. It was pretty convenient, actually.

Well, maybe not _too_ convenient. People who hung out with you frequently enough knew it was for the best if they just didn't talk to you at all. It's no fun being friends with someone who can catch you in the middle of a white lie.

"Okay, hun, the hour's up. Your session is over," you wanted to jump for joy, but you didn't, "it was so nice talking to you! I hope we get to see each other again."

You squinted as you looked up to see the words hovering above her head. _I hope you waste your money on my services again_ , was what she _really_ meant to say. You huffed and grabbed your coat, "Yeeaah, sure."

Worst. Therapy session. Ever.

You angrily walked to your car and hopped in the driver's seat. This was the last time you'd be taking advice from your stupid cousin.

* * *

As soon as you got home, you sunk into your armchair and flicked on the television. Maybe some cartoons would help lift your mood.

You heard some shuffling in the kitchen and prepared yourself for what was coming. The sound of footsteps were heard before there was a loud squeal, and after the loud squeal, a body fell into your lap.

Your cousin was always a fan of the high jump.

"Heeeyyy, you're home! How'd it go?" you didn't have to look down to know that she was smiling at you. In fact, you didn't want to look down. You weren't ready to see the look of disappointment on her face.

"Uh, it went well... I guess?" you heard a loud groan and you winced. She didn't need super powers to know you're a bad liar.

"Ugh, seriously, (Name)? This is, like, the fiftieth time you do this!"

She scrambled off your lap and instead stood in front of you, blocking the television screen. She was mad. Very, _very_ mad.

"Look, Roxy, I'm sorry! It's just... that therapist sucked! She didn't even care about what I had to say!"

Roxy placed her right hand on her hip and scolded you with her left, "That's because you didn't say anything important, stupid!"

"Oh, c'mon! What am I supposed to say? That I have no friends because I have lame superpowers?" you stared at her in expectancy, but she could only laugh sheepishly. Did she _actually_ think you were going to tell her about _that?_ "Roxanne, are you serious?"

"W-Well, I thought it would help you! Besides, therapists are great at keeping secrets, aren't they?"

"No. No they're not. _Especially_ if there are superpowers involved."

She went silent, and you waited for her to retort. What she offered was only an abject shrug.

You face-palmed, "I'm never taking advice from you again."

Roxy stuck out her tongue, "Hmph, that's what you always say!"

You tried throwing a pillow at her, but when she easily dodged it, you could only hate yourself for even thinking you'd be able to pull it off, "Go get a job, loser."

"I'm the one with a job! So _you_ should get a job, not me!" Roxy grabbed the newspaper that was on the kitchen counter and threw it at your head.

You ducked and it landed on the coffee table instead, "Wow, better luck next time, Rox!"

Roxy threw her arms up in defeat and marched back to her room. The sound of her slamming her door made you jump.

You sighed, taking the newspaper in your hands. You opened the pages and began to scan for employment advertisements. Maybe you _should_ get a job? Being a freeloader wasn't really the ideal way to repay Roxanne for everything she's done for you.

"Oooh, this one pays a lot! Time to set up an appointment for an interview!" you grabbed your notebook (it was also on the coffee table), and began to scribble down the information with hopeful eyes.

Yes, yes, this ad seemed quite promising! You hummed in satisfaction as you finished, a wide smile on your face, "I hope I don't get fired this time!"


	2. Chapter 2

You hummed to yourself as you waited for your future employers to let you in their office. It was the day of the interview, and to put it simply, you were kind of excited! It was rare for you to have a job, but the interview part was always an adventure. You never knew if they were going to hire you or not!

Your eyes locked onto a guy who sauntered out of the office, a large frown on his face. He looked like he was about to cry. You felt bad for him. You tried getting his attention by waving in his direction, "Hey!"

He looked at you, his eyes red and puffy, "Wha...?" his cheeks flared up and he rubbed his eyes in an attempt to get rid of his tears. He was probably embarrassed by the fact that you managed to catch him in such a position.

"What happened?"

He growled and his face turned sour, "I didn't get the job, alright? Don't rub it in!"

You raised your hands up in defense, wondering what soiled his coffee this morning, "Jeez, sorry."

Why did people act that way towards you? You know you sucked, but gosh, you didn't suck _that_ much.

"(Surname)? You're up next."

With a smile, you grabbed your things and made your way to the interview room. The lady that called you seemed pretty annoyed right now, so you thought it was better to just leave her alone.

As you entered, you were met with the back of a leather chair. The person didn't turn to face you, as they were too busy on their phone. Judging by their voice, you assumed they were male. As you waited, your eyes wandered around his desk and took notice of how plain his setup was. It was just a phone, some pencils, and a cool looking coffee mug.

You tried so hard to keep yourself from adjusting the lone pencil that was in a crooked position.

"Alright, what sore loser have we got this time," finally, after what seemed like a thousand years, the man got off his phone and gave you his full attention. He actually looked really surprised to see you, "Oh? What are you here for?"

"My name's (Full Name). I came for the job interview?" you tried to sound as professional as possible. 

Before he turned around, he sounded pretty irritated. But now he was all smiles for some reason. Was it because he was trying to be professional like you?

"Right, right, the interview," he moved closer to his desk, almost leaning over it as he tried to close the gap between you. He folded his hands in front of him and asked, "Before we start, do you want anything to drink? Some coffee? Water, maybe?"

"Oh, no thanks, Mister...?" you looked away from him and tried to read the nameplate on his desk. Oddly enough, he moved it out of your sight before you could do so. You raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Please, call me Eduardo."

"Okay...?"

"So, (Name). Why do you want this job?"

"Well, mostly because my cousin won't stop bothering me until I get one. That and I need money," you decided to be frank. Honesty was always the best policy, and that fact had nothing to do with your powers at all. Nope.

Eduardo laughed heartily in response; albeit his laugh seemed rather forced, "How funny! Well, how about this? I'll give you the job."

"What? Really? Why?"

He shrugged, taking a sip out of his mug, "Why not?"

"I just think it's kind of weird that you'd," he set down his mug and stared into your soul, "uh, hire me on the spot?" This was getting kind of weird.

"Nothing weird about it! I just know that you have all the assets we've been looking for. It'd be a shame to waste your time on a silly interview."

You pouted and looked at the spot just above his head. There were the words again; he was definitely lying to you. Your eyes narrowed as you tried to read what they said— _I'm hiring you for your looks alone._

Well, isn't that just _perfect?_

You smiled and began to stand up, "Hah, well, that's very flattering of you to say, but, I think I'm going to have to pass on this one."

"Why?"

You tried thinking of a really good comeback, and when it came to you, you snapped your fingers and pointed at him, "Why not?"

You got ready to leave, but as soon as you walked out the door, he called out to you, "Come on, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity! You get to work with me! I'm the number one businessman in this city!"

You turned to him in surprise, "Wow, really?"

The two of you were about to head outside now. He must have been very desperate if he followed you out this far, "Y-Yes! I am! Isn't that cool?"

You pursed your lips and looked above him: _I'm not the number one_ _businessman_ _in the city!_

"You know, you should try telling the truth sometimes, Eduardo. Maybe then you'll make all your dreams come true?"

You smiled triumphantly as you realized your words immediately stopped him in his traps. A few people had stopped to see what the commotion was all about, and for the first time, they seemed impressed by the fact that you called someone out on a lie.

You felt so proud that you decided to reward yourself with some coffee. Or maybe a pastry? Both treats seemed to be the right answer. You were sure Roxanne wouldn't mind you spending her money too much.

You felt someone tap you on the shoulder, "What you did back there was pretty impressive, you know."

You looked to your left and noticed a man with brown hair and a green hoodie. He was smiling at you, and, despite not knowing why, you felt like you had encountered him before. Something in the back of your mind told you that this wasn't the case, though.

"Really? Thanks. People don't usually say that."

"Well, people don't usually tell Eduardo off. He's a pretty good liar."

You frowned, "are you friends with him or something?"

The man's face scrunched up in disgust, "With Eduardo? Eugh, never in a million years."

You made a noise of satisfaction, "well, that's good."

Curiosity began to take over, and you just had to ask him. The fact that he made you feel so at ease was really starting to bother you. It was like the two of you were old friends or something, "Have we met before?"

He scratched his cheek awkwardly, a light pink dusting his cheeks, "No, I don't... think so?"

You perked up and waved your hands at him in a dismissive manner, "O-Oh, oh no, gosh I wasn't flirting with you or anything I just— I just feel like we've talked before? Or something?"

He chuckled at your explanation, his previous bashfulness fading away, "Probably not. I don't remember our meeting."

Now it was your turn to feel embarrassed.

"Don't worry, I get that a lot. You aren't the only one."

You let out a sigh of relief, and the two of you continued on to your destination. You weren't sure why he was tagging along, and you'd normally be alarmed by the fact, but you weren't. Something about him just made you feel like he was someone you could trust.

"So, where are you off to?"

"I was just going to go to a cafe."

"Awesome, you mind if I join? I wanted to ask you a few things."

You could only shrug. Who were you to say no?

* * *

"So, (Name), how'd you do it?"

You played with the small strawberry cake you had ordered, not really brave enough to look Edd in the eye.

Right, so, before the two of you sat down and ordered, Edd had introduced himself to you. In fact, his real name was Edward—Edd was just a nickname that he insisted on. He seemed like a nice guy, but you felt like he was hiding something from you.

"How'd I do what?"

Edd cupped his mouth with his hand, leaning in close and whispering, "How'd you know Eduardo was lying?"

You began to sweat bullets. Was it really so odd for you to catch Eduardo in a lie? He seemed like the type to be horrible at fibbing. Oh god, you probably made yourself so obvious then!

You tried to lie, "Oh, uh, you know. I just looked to see if his pupils dilated... and stuff. You know, the usual."

"That only works with people who don't lie frequently," Edd smiled coyly, "like what's happening now."

No fair, you didn't know that! Now you felt bad for lying to him.

Edd leaned back and gave you some space. He put on a smile again so that you'd feel less tense, at least you think that's why he did it, "It's okay, you can tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone."

What he said reminded you of your therapist, so you were hesitant. Something told you that this was the right thing to do, though. You were pretty sure Edd got a lot of people to tell him secrets... he probably kept every one of them, too.

"Oh, alright, I'll tell you," your resolve crumbled relatively quickly around him.

With a sigh, you scanned your surroundings, and when you were satisfied, you told him, "I know this is gonna sound weird, but I have this thing where I can tell when someone's lying. It's like... they kind of glow? It's usually just a little, and that doesn't really help much. The thing that does help, though, are the little letters that float above their head. It reveals what they're really thinking."

Edd grinned excitedly, "That's so cool, (Name)!"

"Shhh, keep it down!"

"Sorry," Edd forced himself to calm down. When he was back to normal, he whispered back, "What if I told you that your powers aren't weird?"

"Huh?"

Edd nodded, "Yeah, I'm just like you, actually. I mean, I don't have truth powers like you do, but you catch my drift."

You were in shock. You had never met someone like this before; someone like you. It made you just a little less lonely. 

"Hey, can I try something right quick?" you nodded and Edd continued, "Ask me if I like Cola."

You were puzzled by his request, but complied, "Do you like Cola?"

He seemed to be in visible pain when he tried to reply, "No... I... hate Cola."

You looked at the words above his head: _I'm lying. I love Cola. I worship it._

You laughed at his inner turmoil.

"That was harder to say than I thought. What did you see?"

"Just that you were a liar and that you actually loved Cola. Worshiped it, in fact."

Edd nodded, "That was pretty spot on..." He thought to himself for a moment, and you took the time to finish up your cake and drink.

"Ask me something more complicated."

"Okay, um," you tried to whack your brain for a question. It took you a while, but you finally asked him.

He seemed pretty flustered at first, but he answered to the best of his ability.

You looked to see if he was telling the truth, but when you did, you were met with a mess of words that were illedgible. You couldn't understand what they said. It was like it was in another language or something.

"So?"

"I-I can't understand any of it. This has never happened before."

Edd murmured a few things to himself before replying, "Maybe it has to do with thought flow?"

"What do you mean?"

"I honestly don't even know," he grabbed his wallet from his pocket and paid for his own food. Edd asked if you wanted him to pay for you too, but you denied his request.

After the two of you paid, Edd handed you his card. When you read what was on the print, you couldn't help but be vexed by it.

Edd beamed at you, "Bet you didn't see that coming."

"You're a detective?!"

"Shh, not so loud!"

You shrunk back and lowered your voice, "Why didn't you tell me?!"

Edd shrugged, "I dunno. You never asked." He stood up and pointed at the card, smiling sympathetically, "I know that job interview of yours didn't work out, but if you're still looking for work, my agency could use someone like you."

Glancing at the card in your hands, you took his words with weighted consideration, "Maybe..."

Your words fell on deaf ears, as Edd had already left the cafe.

"Lucky Cola Detective Agency, huh?"

Perhaps your day wasn't so lame after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone help me with the agency name because the current one is the worst thing ever, oh my lord.


End file.
